Wednesday 7/1/26 Some Health Stuff

 Hola y'all, how's it going? Been a couple of months again so here's a life update . . .

I went to my doctor's office a few weeks ago as I have been experiencing ridiculous fatigue. Like, it's bad. I can't make it through the day without a nap and/or obscene amounts of caffeine. In addition I've been getting headaches daily, along with swollen lymph nodes, a sore throat, a feeling like I'm *maybe* getting sick but I never do, and night sweats. My doc initially was thinking lymphoma except I don't have unexplained weight loss (dang it!). We talked at length about my symptoms and he wanted me to start Allegra and Pepcid daily, thinking maybe the swollen lymph nodes and sore throat were allergies, and to do some lab work. So I did that. The lymph node swelling and sore throat have dies down considerably, even though I stopped taking the meds a week and a half ago (I took them for about a week). My blood work showed a normal CBC, which is good. However, my iron levels are elevated and UIBC level is low, which points to hemochromotosis (which could explain the fatigue). So doc wanted me to have genetic testing done to see if I have the mutation that causes hemochromotosis. Cool. Did that. And I don't have the gene mutation. Which means my body is holding on to iron for some unknown reason, which can be bad. If my body starts depositing the excess iron onto my organs, say my liver, spleen, and heart, bad things can happen. Like heart disease, diabetes, overt organ failure . . . It's not ideal. So what do I get to do? Wait. Yep, wait, and have my iron levels drawn again in 2-3 months. I'm less than pleased with this option. I figured I'd get a referral to hematology for more testing. But no, we wait instead. Ugh.

So I'm trying a different approach. See, I'm in perimenopause. Have been for probably a couple of years. Hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, irritability, NO libido, vaginal dryness (probably TMI - suck it up). And then my fatigue is getting progressively worse. Then I remembered a coworker talking about her horrible fatigue and how starting hormone therapy helped immensly. Maybe perimenopause is what's really causing my fatigue and the high iron is just a fluke. So I made an appointment with my coworker's OB/GYN (whom I also happen to work with at the birth center I work at). Sadly, though, that appointment isn't until September 1st. That was the first available spot with her. Which sucks royally. But hey, I'll take it. 

In the meantime, I have switched to an iron free multivitamin and am going to avoid dietary iron as much as I can (which basically means less red meat - even though I rarely eat it anyway). And I guess I just plug along and power through, taking naps when I can and drinking obscene amounts of caffeine. Which I kinda hate doing but the days I work (12 hour shifts) I literally hurt I'm so tired. I don't know what else to do. 

Maybe my iron levels will level out in 2-3 months on an iron free vitamin. And maybe I'll start hormone replacement therapy. And maybe I'll start to feel better. I'm hoping this is the case because how I've been feeling really sucks. Fatigue and headaches daily. It's not fun. 

And as this has been going on I've been working more than usual (I've worked every single one of my call shifts and have picked up extra on top of that). It's been stupid busy and there's no end in sight. Even over this holiday weekend we're going to be busy (and I work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and on call Monday). This just makes my fatigue worse. I spend my days off trying to recuperate. And I've had terrible art block as well. Usually my art is a welcome release for me, something I immensly enjoy. But no. I don't feel creative, just oh so tired. I hate this. 

Oh well. Hopefully in a couple of months I'll have more answers and will be feeling better. Fingers crossed.

Thoughts Saturday 5/2/26

 My 12 weeks off from work for my hip surgery are almost up. One more week. I go back to work May 10th (Mother's Day, bummer). And one thing I've realized is that I REALLY don't want to go back. I've ben enjoying my time off. Immensly. I've been able to paint so much. I haven't been stressed. I've felt more at peace. If it were possible I'd quit and just do art. But, alas, that is not possible. My art barely sells. We need my nursing income. It sucks. But, it is what it is. 

I've decided that I'm going to step down from being charge. That is where the main sourse of my work stress is. I don't want it anymore. I plan on seeing how work is going after stepping down before I make a decision to find another job. Part of me wants something different. Part of me wants to stay. I like my coworkers, I like my actual job well enough, I like the demographic of patients I serve . . . but I don't like the hospital system. They pile more and more on nurses without extra pay or help. So much relies on us. I feel like it's at a breaking point. I mean, my hospital can't even reliably have phlebotomy on staff - nurses have to do all of their own blood draws. This is a HOSPITAL for pete's sake. We should have phlebotomy. Patient loads are havier, patients are sicker (yes, even new moms), and we're always short staffed. Almost every day of my leave I've seen posts in our floor facebook page begging for help. Almost every. Single. Day. Something has to change. 

That's why I'm thinking about leaving. But will it be better anywhere else? Will I like what I'm doing somewhere else? I'm limited as to where I can go because I can't work nights (most hospital jobs you have to start of nights). I could do out patient surgery - a few of my coworkers have left to do that and seem to really like it. Only problem is that it would be a $15 an hour pay cut (if not more). So I don't know. Part of me is hoping that after I step down from charge and I don't have to worry about staffing and all the BS that goes along with it I'll like my job more and will be happier. Time will tell. 

In other news, I've been substantially more down the past 3-4 weeks. I don't know if it's perimenopause related or if it's depression rearing its ugly head. But it's most certainly annoying. Right now I'm just dealing with it. If it gets worse then I'll be hitting up the ketamine clinic because I'm not playing that game. I'm not going to get worse. 

That's about it for now. Toodle loo.