Here it is, day 89 of "normal", and I'm feeling pretty stuck. Why, you ask? Motivation. Or, more accurately, my lack of motivation. That's right. I'm lacking motivation for nearly everything. No, that isn't an exaggeration.
I'll be honest - I don't really have the motivation to write this post. Seriously. I feel I need to though. I feel I need to write more frequently, even if it's just mundane shit. And so here I am, sitting on the couch with the laptop in my lap, one big sigh after the other.
See it's just that I'm lacking motivation for so many things. Exercise, eating healthy, reading, drawing, painting, cleaning, getting up in the morning. It's very frustrating because I want to be able to do things, I just don't seem to care if I don't. Wasn't on the spin bike for a full 20 minutes? Oh well. Doesn't matter. Didn't vacuum the downstairs? Whatever. We're not downstairs all that much anyway.
The lack of motivation and not really caring (in addition to some other symptoms) are all symptoms of depression. I had a little over a week where I was having some strong depressive symptoms again and I keep thinking that maybe this is just carry-over from that. Except that the lack of motivation started before my depressive dip.
I'm not really sure what to do. I don't know how to increase my motivation (motivational speeches, etc don't work).
It sucks though, and is damn annoying.
