I had therapy today and I was glad that I had therapy today until I actually got to therapy. Why? Well, it was hard to talk. I felt really withdrawn and flat, like I didn't want to interact at all. And it felt like everything I was saying I've said before, at one point or another. It was just really hard.
M, my therapist, said he could tell just by looking at me in the lobby that I was more depressed. My body language and facial expressions gave it away I guess. And yet I could still muster up a smile or a chuckle during my session. M agreed with my pdoc Dr. M that this is probably a normal bipolar mood cycle. I'm in a trough and I'll eventually come back out of it - hopefully sooner rather than later. And what do I have to do to get through it? Push my way through like I have been doing. Just keep plowing through until I feel better.
That sounds logical, doesn't it? It's part of mood management. The problem, is that sometimes it's really hard. Like, end-up-in-the-hospital-because-I-can't-cope hard. That's what I'm worried about. And just making it day to day. Right now, and in my depressions, I feel as though I'm living just to breathe.
We'll see though. We'll see how it goes. M thinks I'll be feeling better when I see him in 2 weeks. We made a bet on it (a bet I don't mind losing).
No comments:
Post a Comment