I said baby don't worry,
Cause it's all the same,
When we end the game . . .
The grey cloud has enveloped me today. And I'm struggling. It took me an hour to get out of bed this morning. I went downstairs and had breakfast and coffee and then I went back upstairs and got back in bed. For another hour. Just laying there. Then I got up and showered. I actually showered. I told myself I should be proud. I mean seriously. I didn't even want to get up to go pee.
But then it was back to bed, looking through Pinterest. Until my son came up to check on me and inform me that it was lunch time.
Yeah, whatever. Make it yourself.
That's what I thought. But I managed to get up and get lunch (which for me was a bowl of cereal because I have no appetite).
Now I'm just waiting for hubby to get home so we can go to the gym. Which he's probably going to have to force me to go because I don't want to do anything except lay in bed.
I don't want to go to the gym, I don't want to make dinner, I just want to curl in a ball and not exist. Can't I do that? At least until these bad feelings pass? I've had to fight back tears several times. I'm so tired of this. I broke down last night going to bed. Laying in bed in the dark crying. What fun. I'm really just so tired.
This needs to end.
I don't feel as strong as I was in the past. I'm trying to be. I'm trying not to let it show, I'm trying to be strong, but I don't feel it. I feel worn down. I feel like I can't keep up the facade.
I guess we'll find out.
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