A second post this week. Weird.
Yesterday I was a little creative. I was on my spin bike, listening to music, when I had an idea for a painting. So after I finished working out and showered, I actually painted something. This is a huge accomplishment since I haven't done anything creative in almost 2 months. And it felt good to paint again. Even if it was only something simple.
Here's what I painted:
It's called "Dark Clouds". It's 5X7, watercolor and ink. It's kind of a personal piece. Dark clouds breed dark thoughts, and while my thoughts haven't been too dark, they are there, lurking. It was a quick painting and I like how it turned out.
I also painted this yesterday:
Because depression lies. And for me - someone who's been depressed most of their life - there's a sense of familiarity and almost . . . comfort, in being depressed again. It's a sick sort of comfort, one that is all together unwell. But see, depression lies. Depression is lying to me, telling me that this is my natural state. This is untrue. My year and a half of stability are my natural state. But depression is there, whispering lies in my ear, trying to get me to give in. I truly am doing everything in my power to fight this depressive episode. But those lies are tempting at times. At times it seems easier to give in than fight. Fighting takes a lot of energy and I'm so very tired.
But I will continue fighting. I'm strong and I'm stubborn and I will prevail. Even if it's eventually.
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