Would you look at that! It's Monday already. And it's not too shabby of a day, either. Mainly because I'm home and not at work today. Speaking of work, I go back this Thursday after having 11 days off. Thanks Covid! In all reality, I had taken a day of vacation this week so I would have 5 days off in a row, but then had to miss all 3 shifts last week due to having covid. So 11 days off in a row. It's been nice (for the most part - when I wasn't sick as sick can be). But Thursday . . . back to the grind.
I'm honestly not looking forward to going back. Being off has made me realize just how burnt out I am. I mean, my cuticles are healed! (I pick at my cuticles when I'm stressed/anxious/depressed). My mood has been a bit better during this time off - even when I was actively sick. I haven't been as down or depressed or anxious or overwhelmed. It's actually amazing. But now I'm going back and I'm wondering how that's going to make me feel. If everything will come crashing down again. I know. A very pessimistic view. I can't help it.
It also makes me wonder if I need a change of pace at work. I've been doing bedside nursing for almost 16 years. Maybe I need a change? Except, what would a change look like? Working at an office? Yuck! I'm so used to doing three 12 hour shifts I'm not sure how I'd handle five 8's. Quite honestly I don't want to. So maybe a different area? But where? I KNOW I don't want to do anything med/surg related. My only other area of interest is psych. Which everyone thinks would be too triggering for me. Including my psychiatrist and therapist.
So what do I do to get out of this work related rut I'm in? Ahhhh, that's the question, isn't it? And I have no idea. I'm thinking I'm going to have to schedule myself vacation days here and there so I have extra time off. That's the only thing I can really think of. I don't know what else to do. An actual vacation might be nice, but I don't see one happening anytime in the near future (since we're saving up for Japan). So what do I do . . . . ?
I spent some time drawing today, which was nice. Now I have 6 drawings I need to paint. I'll have a lot of artwork to bring to my next therapy appointment! Which, sadly, is not until a week from Thursday (Feb. 3rd). That will be 5 weeks between appointments (I had to cancel last week since I had covid). Oh well. What can you do?
I guess I don't have much of anything else going on. Is that a good or a bad thing?
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