It's crazy but true - it's almost December. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving last week. Mine was . . . it was okay, I guess. We went up to hubby's aunt's house in Denver. There were lots of people and lots of good food. It's just that I was overwhelmed and depressed so . . . yeah.
Feeling down seems to be the new norm for me. I'm hoping to change this, go back to feeling good, feeling like myself. I have a theory that I'm testing out: about a month and a half ago I started taking a new supplement called Female Factor. It's supposed to help with perimenopause and menopause symptoms. And I've been feeling down for about a month. I started wondering if maybe something in this supplement is causing it. I've had reactions to supplements before. So I've stopped taking it. Today is my third day without it. I haven't noticed anything so far. What a wonderful and simple fix it would be if the supplement were the problem! I'm giving it time, so we'll see.
I see my psychiatrist on Thursday this week. I'll have to give him the bad news of how I've been feeling. And I'm going to talk to him about going up on my Wellbutrin. Back up to 300mg. I don't want to have to, but if the supplement thing isn't the problem then I'll probably need to increase my dose, see if that helps. It's about the only thing we can do. There really isn't anything else out there for me to try. I've literally done it all. Well, I guess that's not true - I haven't tried ketamine. That's the only thing I haven't tried. And I really don't want to.
Otherwise, I'm doing everything I can to overcome this. I've been going over my notes from the mental and emotional mastery course I did, I've been reading articles and watching videos from the Depression Project (which is a series of online "classes" designed to help you overcome depression). I'm doing a daily journal that is designed to help you think more positively. I'm doing everything in my power to beat this. To not let it get me down. Like this morning - instead of laying back down in bed (which is what I really wanted to do), I changed and got on the spin bike. I plan on going to the gym this afternoon. I'm doing everything I know how to do. Which is why feeling down right now is so frustrating. I'm fighting it tooth and nail and I'm still not feeling right. I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do.
In other news, we haven't put up our Christmas tree yet. I'll be honest - I don't really want to. We have to put it up downstairs as there's not enough room for it upstairs. So it's not like we'll enjoy it that much. I'd rather get a small tree (like 2-3 ft tall) and put it on the coffee table. But then, of course, it would block the TV probably. So that doesn't really work either. Maybe on the side table by the railing . . . we could move some stuff around and put it there. I just think that if we're going to put a tree up it should be in a location where we can enjoy it.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling on for now.
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